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Proper 22 – Year A – Renewal of Marriage Vows by Ken and Maureen Carter
Preached on October 9, 2011
At St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, Brookline, MA
The Reverend Jeffrey W. Mello
Isaiah 25: 1-9; Philippians 4:1–9; Matthew 22:1–14
Today’s parable from Jesus begins as such a wonderful image. Those who have been invited into the kingdom of God in the past turned up their noses at the invitation, or had other things to do. In response, the King invites everyone in off the street. Suddenly the banquet hall is filled with all sorts of folks, from every walk of life. Yes, that is what I believe the Kingdom of God is like. It is not a place only for the privileged elite; it is a place for everyone, everywhere, at any time, unexpected as it might be. So far, so Good. Were it to end here, I would say Amen and we could move on.
But just when all seems right with the Kingdom of God, the King in today’s parable sees a guest without a wedding garment, and he throws him out. He doesn’t just throw him out, he has him bound and thrown to the outer darkness “where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.” Well, now I’ve got a problem. How was this guest supposed to know to bring a wedding robe with him when he left the house that morning? He’s pulled off the street without warning and then punished for not having brought the right clothes. Does God really kick us out of the Kingdom if we aren’t dressed appropriately? Given my rather lax taste in fashion, I shudder at the thought.
From a historical perspective, it’s easier to understand. While this parable exists also in the Gospel of Luke, only Matthew adds this part on about the unprepared guest. For Matthew, there is little wiggle room in the Kingdom of God. Matthew isn’t a fan of ambiguity – he much prefers this or that thinking. For Matthew, you are either with us, or you are against us; you’re either ready or you’re not. And this guest just wasn’t ready.
What Matthew argues here, and what is consistent to Jesus’ teaching thus far is, is that there is a difference between just showing up to the Kingdom of God, and getting prepared to be a part of it. We must be prepared to participate in the Kingdom of God, or the party will go on without us.
And it doesn’t have anything to do with what we are wearing on the outside. It has a lot to do, however, with what we are wearing on the inside.
You’ve probably heard me say before that I believe there are no coincidences in life. Well, today proves it.
Ken and Maureen Carter contacted me back in the spring to inquire about some sort of liturgy for the renewal of the wedding vows on the occasion of their 50th wedding anniversary. They wanted to know if we did that sort of thing in the Episcopal Church and, if so, whether we might be able to plan something.
I told them that, yes, we did that sort of thing in Episcopal Church and, yes, I would be overjoyed to officiate at such a celebration. And then I pushed my luck. I asked them if they might consider doing it within the context of a Sunday morning liturgy. We had done a wedding before on a Sunday morning and, since it is a celebration of the whole community, I thought it made sense for the community to be present, just like we are at a baptism.
Much to my delight and surprise they agreed. I offered this Sunday as a possibility since it was a holiday weekend, and we had done the last Sunday morning wedding on the same weekend.
And then I opened the lectionary to see what the Gospel would be. The parable of the wedding banquet. Enough said.
You are all, each one of you, invited to the festive reception immediately following the service in the Parish Hall. And no, neither Ken, nor Maureen, nor I will be inspecting your dress code and tossing you out if you don’t measure up. That’s not where this morning’s celebration and the Gospel meet. Where they do meet, and why I think it’s a good and joyful thing to celebrate these kinds of events in the midst of community is because it isn’t just about Ken and Maureen this morning. Oh, it’s a lot about them, but not all. And it isn’t just about a marriage that has lasted 50 years, though there is much to celebrate there.
We do things like baptisms and funerals and weddings and confirmations in community because each of these celebrations has something to teach each one of us about our life of faith, about our relationship with God. And that’s true whether or not we’ve ever been married, will be married or will ever reach a 50th anniversary.
It’s about covenant. It’s about entering an intentional relationship with another. And it’s about doing more than just showing up. Because, as Ken and Maureen will likely tell you, just showing up isn’t enough. It’s about putting on what it takes on the inside to make the covenant work. It’s about bringing your whole life to the covenant, so the covenant can bring you life.
Now, human relationships are fragile. Human relationships are not perfect. And not all human relationships can last 50 years, no matter how hard the people involved are working. The reason we celebrate things like 50th anniversaries is precisely because they happen so infrequently.
But our relationship with God is not like any relationship we’ve ever had with anyone else, no matter how well those relationships have gone or how long they have lasted. Our relationship with God is eternal. It is everlasting. God’s love is abiding. Forever. At least, from God’s side of the equation.
God will always call us to the banquet. But we must choose to go. God will always call us to the banquet, but we must be prepared to enjoy the party. Turns out, showing up is only half the job.
So, what is the wedding gown we’re supposed to be wearing? How are we supposed to be prepared to participate in God’s invitation? Well, if Jesus’ teaching to this point is to be of any help in figuring this out, it isn’t a fancy robe; it isn’t a title or position.
Paul writes in his letter to the church in Phillipi what they are to put on and, perhaps, what we are to put on, if we are to enjoy the banquet to which we have all been invited.
He writes, “Let your gentleness be known to everyone. Do not worry about anything.” And “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable…think about these things.”
Think about these things. Put on these things, Paul promises us, and the God of Peace will be with us.
Being a part of a covenanted relationship, whether it be a marriage, a friendship, a parent and child, a church community like St. Paul’s, or our relationship with God; being a part of one of these covenanted relationships means doing more than just showing up, though showing up is a great thing. It means bringing your whole life to the relationship so the relationship might bring you life.
What might God be calling us to ‘put on’ in the relationships in our lives? What relationships are we simply showing up for, in which God wants us to actually participate, or participate more deeply? Think on these things…do these things…and the God of Peace will be with you.
AMEN.
© 2011 The Reverend Jeffrey W. Mello
